PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase It's been a couple of months ...Apparently.

Hello Folks,
It's been a couple of months since I posted Judith Said - the song with a SUPERB vocal by Janice Merritt.
I've a few things I'm working on but only one that's in a state for any sort of listening.
This is a song I wrote with my college writing partner Eric Drabwell, formerly of small town near Shreveport - but we did this about eight years ago rather than back in '76.
It sat unfinished because it had potential but plodded along with insufficient variation for me to feel comfortable with it.
I used BIAB to recreate the original song then added some chords changes to give some variation.
Originally this was all G and C but I added a D/Dsus and an Am plus a C to give it some movement.
I used the drums, piano, organ & lead guitar from BIAB and recorded the rhythm guitars & bass myself.
I copied the original vocal into the project and did some tuning to have the vocals agree with the news chords as well as a fair but of slicing & dicing to get the timing & phrasing right.
Eric's not fussed on the changes and dislikes having his vocals tuned but I needed to do that nasty thing to make the changes work. His essential melody remains, pretty much, untrammeled though.
I'll add the chords, BIAB components & lyrics presently, (I'm cooking dinner as I'm doing this).

Here's an update with a different solo guitar. I explained the problem in my response to Mr Snyder.
UPDATE#1

For the moment here's the unmastered current mix:
APPARENTLY - The Newlings
BIAB STUFF:
Organ - 671
Solo - 1260
Drums - RockHardLA^7
I can't find the piano file...sorry...too many changes to the basic SGU.

LYRIC:
(Eric added the NO and some variations to the You don't part)
For those in the know this is based on the very famous lyric by a cloth capped English chap doing introspection amidst the glam world. I used to rewrite famous lyrics as an exercise and to absorb forms etc. This one seemed to work better than most.
Not so very long from now
A few minutes or maybe an hour
I’ve arranged by stealth to help myself
To take residence in the tower
And once because I’m soft will send my tears aloft
All that just to make it plain to you
That what we had you’ve completely shattered
Left standing in a daze you amaze
As you were saying:
"It’s all a lie I will not try"
No point in you refraining
From tearing down my life
And landing me in strife

You don't love me?
Apparently,
No.

It could have been any day
For you to chose to go away
But it’s not for you that wouldn’t do
Demise to be its own decay
So to make it all come down
You brought the world around
Once with so much,
Now it's cut by your touch
Displayed me in little pieces
Leaving them no doubt
All about your lack of mercy
You took your grand exit
And took it without me
No, there was no need
But you knew I’d plead

You've walked again?
Apparently,
No.

It seems to be
That there are more lives
Wasted in the world
That you have rended
They can’t be mended

Why do you do that which you do?

If I consider the years
The shouting and the tears
I recall you cried when I said you’d lied
Not knowing you hid your fears
And of all the lies you told
Not one was oh so bold
As the things you said beside me in bed

You don’t love me, apparently, no.
You’ve found someone, apparently, oh.
You’ve walked again, apparently, oh.

You don't love me?
Apparently no.

Ray, this has a wonderful classic rock sound. The vocals, guitars and bass sound GREAT. I really like both the repetition and the changes you inserted. Creates a cool dynamic shift that's very fun to listen to. I would call this a nice pop song, but I get the feeling sometimes that the term isn't universally "pop"ular. Anyway, your song is very popular with me!

I like this. Those jangly guitars are perfect. Once you put the final polish on this it'll be a great listen. Currently kinda bright but not overly so and lacking a balanced bottom end.

This is a nice piece!

Since it's in development I'll assume that you want production commentary?

I really like the groove of this mix and the sound of it, it it has a another distinctive 60s feel to it which holds together throughout most of the song, and the similarity or familiarity of that feel makes it cohesive.

The solo guitar sounds like it comes from a completely different era and just to me doesn't really seem like it fits in with the other instruments in the mix or the feel.

But it certainly is a high energy and snappy song and I really like it a lot.

Thanks DC,
I'm pleased you like it - nothing wrong with POP...TRex, Slade, AC/DC etc. were all pop bands from start to finish - their fans grew up & simply "legitimized" them with the rock tag.

Thanks GH,
The jangle secret for this track was a) open chords & b) an ACTONE pedal by Joyo.
I've reduced the top end in the guitar bus and a little in the vox as well...thanks for the detail. I'll update the file tonight.

Thanks David,
I agree about the solo guitar. I auditioned dozens before settling and, subsequent to reading your comment, another dozen this morning. There aren't any solos guitars in my RT sets that have the right tone & vibe. Almost al are distorted rather than over driven that little bit that would be ace. Not enough DI guitars either. Brent Mason comes close sonically but he always sounds like he can't help pick'n a little chicken no matter what he plays so he didn't fit either. I found a variation on what I had and did a mass of multi riff rewriting to get something more single string...I'll post it tonight..

Ray,

I like this - to me it has an early 80s sound. Good vocals and love the arrangement and production.

Bob

Ray, this sounds really good.
I didn't mind that guitar.
Super groove.
I would put this in the late 60's pop era.
I liked this one a lot.

Nice intro! Super bass and rhythm guitars. Lead sounds good (I listened to your updated mix) it could come up a bit in places for my tastes, but I probably mix mine too loud

Sounds good already, looking forward to hearing how it develops.

Wonderful Ray. You create like a mad scientist --NO, a happy scientist. The bass is the bomb that explodes this track to a higher level of enjoyment. Eric must have been a crazy good lab assistant. The lyrics are smashing and Eric's vocal is so good.

(UPDATE#1)

I loved the sound of the opening - as a whole. It made me reach for the volume - sounds great Loud!
I'm almost certain I heard TP&theHeartbreakers from :16 to :19 (I've tried to recreate that sound and never got close).

The volume adjustment to the tracks right as the vocal starts needs something to ease the transition. It sounded like several faders were pulled down quickly at not quite the right time.... the transition at 1:40 could use a look, too.
The Bass sounds great. Very well mixed. Very musical playing.
I want the snare and kick to be louder (of course). The rest of the kit is fine.
The vocals sit in the mix nicely. They are quite infectious. I did not pay attention to the words - I was listening to the tracks/mix more. I'll do that part as you finalize.

Cool ending.

I like it.

fj

Eric’s vocal sounds great
Sounds like it was a lot of work updating it but it is worth it!!

The title is an engaging lead into the cool lyric.
Your bass, guitar, the band, the arrangement and mix sound good to us on the Kalis.

We'll check back in for V.finale.

Enjoyed it!

J&B

PS Thanks for the shoutout as I thoroughly enjoyed working with you on it. 😊
Janice

Ray...I enjoyed this very much...it reminded me of late 70's early 80's British and American pop...a style I really like...Eric's vocals were top-notch...loved the rhythm guitars...super band, arrangement and production!

The chorus is my favorite part: rich and memorable and Beatleseque. Melodic bass line!
I thought the vocal could use more presence in the mix.

Thanks folks,
I do have an update to post but a) I', having Soundcloud probs and b) Eric has decided he's like to play on this version, he's a fab guitarist with a lovely acoustic 12 string and Les Paul Special to use to improve things, so It'd make sense to wait for his contribution so I can get mix/production feedback on combining the new parts.